British politics

It’s just occurred to me that anyone reading this who isn’t British may not have a clue what I’m talking about when I mention our different political parties. After all, I have to think hard to remember which is which between Republican and Democrat, and we pay quite a lot of attention to US politics over here. So to clarify matters (and possibly just to prove to myself that I do at least know who’s who in British politics), here’s a quick guide:

Labour: The more left-wing of the two main parties. Currently in power with Tony Blair at the helm (for the time being, at least).
Conservative (aka Tory): The more right-wing of the two main parties. Hate immigration and Tony Blair, and want to privatise everything. The last leader, Michael Howard, quit just after the election, so watch this space (or better still, just keep an eye on the BBC website!)
Liberal Democrat: A very definite third after Labour and the Conservatives, but they refuse to go away. Headed by Charles Kennedy, who has very little charisma and an even littler baby called Donald (born a couple of weeks ago). They try to be all things to all men, but essentially they’re left of Labour.
UKIP: The respectable version of the National Front, which suddenly emerged into the limelight last year when a popular chat-show host, Robert Kilroy-Silk, was fired by the BBC for publishing a racist article, and decided to join UKIP. A few months later, he fell out with them and ‘jumped before he was pushed’, but his brief stint with the party ensured them a worrying level of popularity across Britain.
Veritas: A newly-formed party headed by…guess who…Robert Kilroy-Silk. Very few real policies, just a lot of anti-immigration and anti-Europe diatribe, which earned him a suitably lousy result in the election. Sighs of relief all round.
BNP (British National Party): The National Front. Everyone is keeping a very close eye on them as they managed to achieve a slight increase in votes, though fortunately didn’t gain any seats.
Green Party: Very keen on the environment. All very nice and lovely and (sadly) completely harmless.

This is where I admit defeat, but those are the most visible parties in England. Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own additional parties, but I’m a bit hazy on them, so I’ll call it a night.

On Friday the BBC website had a photo diary by Anna Pickard of the best pictures from the election, complete with hilarious captions that could only have been written by an inebriated student. Unfortunately, it seems to have disappeared from the site, so I’m working a way on linking the copy I saved in Word to this blog. In the meantime, if anyone’s interested let me know and I’ll email it to you!