Blink and You’ve Missed It

And just like that, another year has passed and the summer is over. On the day of the Autumn Equinox the weather turned dreary and wet and it has carried on in the same vein pretty much ever since.

Over the last few weeks we have all started to realise just how tired we are. The last year rather unexpectedly filled up with increasing amounts of fairly formal academic work for Daniel, who seemed much happier that way, and by the summer we were ready for a break after months of hard work. As always, our rhythm over the summer changed, but this time not quite the way we probably needed. We charged into the holidays with a whirlwind month, including a wonderful retreat with our new synagogue (we changed at the end of last year to a community that better suits our family), the annual weekend camp with friends from our old community, and a week in Switzerland with my work that was fabulous and inspiring and exhilarating and utterly exhausting.

(With this view from my office, it was no wonder I got so much done during the week!)

After that, we couldn’t bear the thought of packing and unpacking again so we gave camping a miss this year. We settled down for a quiet August, which promptly became quite challenging as people close to us went through a deeply difficult period that had the inevitable knock-on effect as we did our best to help in any way we could. By the time the month was over getting back to work felt like a welcome rest.

It isn’t a rest, of course, except in comparison to the madness of the last two or three months. Adam would have started school this term and was keen to have work like Daniel, and Daniel seemed ready for yet more structure, so we have a rough weekly plan and work we try to do most days while Ben wrecks the house.

My problem is that I love a timetable and can get far too attached to it. In fact, I generally have a tendency to take on slightly too much (this is where anyone who knows me collapses in hystericals at the understatement of the year). And so I have been making a conscious effort to be gentle with myself, saying no to things if I need to, trying to be open about it if I feel burned out and exhausted, accepting that I can’t do everything all the time. So far, it’s going well. I’m still shattered but spending more time with the kids and tending to be less stressed with them. There is more knitting and more tea drinking anyway, and that feels like a good start.